Wednesday, January 25, 2017

January 25, 2017 (a.k.a. Reflecting on Trump)

I wrote (and copyrighted) this poem this morning.

Enjoy!

- Al

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well, he did it --
The orange reality T.V. star is now our president!
Though I know most of what he promised was shit,
I'm just going to have to accept it.

But hey, I've always prided myself on having an open mind,
So here's my chance to give it a wind;
Here's hoping whatever Donny Boy will do won't be too unkind,
Or undermine our American foundation.

For the record, I'm not a Democrat.
However, I'm also not a Republican.
I'm a human being with human feelings,
And a special mind that doesn't allow for fleeing.

I'm your typical third-party voter --
Disenfranchised with the whole system;
The Bush dynasty was incompetent,
While Obama did nothing but claim he was the Republican's victim.

In my life, the best presidents have been Reagan and Clinton;
Though before I was here, I think I'd have liked Teddy and Lincoln;
I also liked JFK's will to experiment with new paths like space,
And how FDR guided us out of our Great Depression daze.

But I've also liked presidents that had guts,
Men that led us in wars and out of ruts,
Guys like George Washington and Andrew Jackson,
Although obviously I'm forgiving their slave-owning sin.

I don't yet see any of that in Trump,
He's but another guy promising us things he can't deliver,
Though his minions swear by his gravitas and say that he will,
I hope they're right, that he'll evolve into more than just some divisive figure.

Let's see, so far, he's been in office five days,
And he's already signed some significant legislation,
So at least we know he ain't out catching rays,
But have his dealings been good?
That'll need some contemplation.

He took us out of the TPP,
Which I'll admit I don't know much about at all,
But John McCain, whom I respect,
Said that that would ruin the competitiveness of American imports abroad.

If there's one area that I would tend to trust Donald Trump,
It'd be in the art of the deal,
After all, his autobiography itself,
Bore that name and had that feel.

So as far as that's concerned,
I'll give him the benefit of the doubt;
However, he also involved himself in female reproductive rights,
After millions of women told him to butt the crap out.

He reinstituted the "Global Gag Rule,"
Which essentially defunds any organization that even so much as mentions the word "abortion;"
I'm of the belief that no man should regulate women's anything,
Because what the heck do we know about their devotions?

Do I want my government dollars funding that private process?
Probably not what I'd spend them on first.
But should there be some exceptions to the rule?
I'm thinking rape, or mothers who're dying while giving birth.

But then again, I'm a man,
So I should probably not decide,
On something so divisive,
As what goes on within a woman's insides.

Donald Trump also froze federal hirings,
Something that I feel needed to be done,
As someone who's worked hard for such agencies,
Sometimes I wondered if I wasn't the only one?

There's a lot of dead weight in government,
It's time to stop hiring more,
Let's just focus on getting the ones we do employ,
To finally get around to doing their chores.

So as you see, as for me,
As far as I can see,
After the first five days,
Trump's done some good, some bad, and some iffy's.

Though I may not have voted for you,
I'm really hoping you'll do well,
Because quite frankly, Mr. Trump,
This country can't afford four more years of Hell!

I know you talk a big game,
But please tell me you'll back it up,
Because it's been 17 years since we've had competence,
And that's a lot of crap filling our American cup.

Soon, it will overflow...
Unless you quickly come and regain its control.

Good luck!

Wednesday, January 18, 2017

Candy

In case you're like me and "Sweet Tooth" is your nickname, here's a little bit of much-needed info I figured I'd share to try and keep you as healthy as possible...

Snack responsibly, y'all!

Saturday, January 14, 2017

Solitude, Alas!

"Solitude is the soul's holiday - an opportunity to stop doing for others and to surprise and delight ourselves instead." ~ Katrina Kenison

Wednesday, November 30, 2016

Gonzo

As an award-winning author myself, I often drew inspiration from other much better writers than I. Essentially, I had five poets (Edgar Allen Poe, Maya Angelou, Leonard Cohen, Dorothy Parker & Ai) and five novelists (Chuck Palahniuk, Stephen King, Bret Easton Ellis, Hunter S. Thompson & Agatha Christie), from whom I drew the most inspiration.

Well, how cool would it be then, for me, a huge fan of the infamous hellraiser, to one day be able to go on a writer's retreat to Hunter S. Thompson's famous Owl Farm in Colorado? It'd be even cooler, as I stroll through the private museum that his widow Anita Thompson is planning on building there, to know that a few of my hard-earned dollars are going to help support the farm where one of my muses' funerals took place and featured the good doctor’s ashes being fired from a rocket launcher mounted with a towering two-thumbed fist whose palm held a giant peyote button. You can't make this $#!+ up, this was always Gonzo's life! He was too weird to live and too rare to die!

Now, for the modern-day life "weird" part...

How does Anita plan to pay for this project? By cloning and selling the famed writer's personal weed and hash stashes. Since Colorado is one of only eight U.S. states, plus the District of Columbia, where adult recreational use of marijuana has been legalized in some form, she went ahead and figured out a legal method to extract his DNA from the stashes she's saved for the past 12-15 years.

In her own words: "I am in the process of making the strains available to those who would like to enjoy the authentic Gonzo strains in legal states ... I am looking forward to making the authentic strains available in legal states to support the farm and the scholarships."

I won't be indulging in the drug aspects of the visit because I ain't about that life -- sorry, folks, not all writers smoke! -- but I, being of sober body and mind, would still definitely like to walk through the Owl Farm taking in all of the history of one of my ten go-to writing icons. To me, that'd be like what Graceland is to Elvis fans, a must-see when I'm in the Aspen area.

May you forever rest in peace, Gonzo!

Tuesday, November 29, 2016

NES Classic Edition

You folks my age -- the ones who grew up in the '80s wearing bright neon colors, using pay phones and playing 8-bit video games -- won't believe what is happening in the world of video games right now. Nintendo recently re-released the famed console that we grew up with, the Nintendo Entertainment System, to these youngins in Generation Z! All the fun we poked at them for having zero creativity and therefore having to steal all the movie and T.V. show ideas my generation created apparently didn't sink in because now they've gone and stolen our old video game standard, too!

However, to their credit, they did tweak it just a smidge. Their bright ideas? Shrink it to the size of one's open hand, price it at the retro price of $59.99, re-name it just a tad ("NES Classic Edition") and pre-load the system with 30 of the most famous retro games ever, including The Legend of Zelda, Super Mario Bros., Galaga, Metroid, Pac-Man, Donkey Kong, Punch-Out!, Kirby's Adventure, etc.

How do I know all this? Because my sister wants me to purchase one as a Christmas present for my niece and nephew, and I can't find the darn thing anywhere. It apparently sold out very quickly when they released it on November 11th, so I'm just thinking of re-packaging my old one -- which I've still got, for some odd reason -- and hoping they won't notice. What do you all think?

Monday, November 28, 2016

Mama DID Raise Some Fools!

People are really shelling out $25 grand for a game they admit is terrible and almost unplayable? (Click.) What the heck is wrong with these humans?!

Dudes, if you want to blow your money all in one place, I've got a wedding and a honeymoon that I will gladly allow you to help fund. It's better than blowing it all on a boring game that you've zero desire to even play!

*Shakes head in disbelief.*

Sunday, November 27, 2016

Tungsten Carbide

As the future wifey and I move ever-closer to our wedding date, things are slowly and gradually getting scratched from our "To Do List."

This weekend, we picked out our rings. The only one that looked manly on my ring finger is the one we decided on for me -- Tungsten Carbide.

Ever the curious one, I of course had to look up what the heck "Tungsten Carbide" even is because I had to know what I'd be rocking on my finger for evermore...

Tungsten carbide (chemical formula: WC) is a chemical compound (specifically, a carbide) containing equal parts of tungsten and carbon atoms. In its most basic form, tungsten carbide is a fine gray powder, but it can be pressed and formed into shapes for use in industrial machinery, cutting tools, abrasives, armor-piercing rounds, other tools and instruments, and jewelry.

Tungsten carbide is approximately two times stiffer than steel, with a Young's modulus of approximately 530–700 GPa (77,000 to 102,000 ksi), and is double the density of steel—nearly midway between that of lead and gold. It is comparable with corundum in hardness and can only be polished and finished with abrasives of superior hardness such as cubic boron nitride and diamond powder, wheels, and compounds.

So come July 2017, one of the toughest and darkest metals on Earth will be residing on my finger...

Take that, Captain America with your Vibranium shield and Wolverine with your Adamantium skeleton and claws!