But anyhow, I saw that Yahoo this morning featured a story on "Juicy Brucey" Jenner having had gender reassignment surgery in January 2017 (because they've got their daily Kardashian quota to meet, y'know?), and now the dude wants to cash in on that super private surgery by writing a memoir about it, while at the same time turning around and being all, like, "it's none of anybody's business." You're right, Bruce, it's not, so PLEASE stop making it our business! You getting your ding-a-ling removed does nothing to affect my life, so hey, man, have at it, but please stop telling me every last detail about it because, honestly, I don't give a hoot!
At least, I didn't! However, since you want to keep bringing your brand of crazy into the spotlight, fine, I'll add my two cents, too, and I'm sure it's nothing you've yet to hear. (This is why some things are probably best left private, and your "privates" should always be one of them!)
I just don't understand when we made it a thing to promote self-mutilation! It's not that you have the "wrong parts," it's that your brain thinks you do. "Gender Dysphoria," or "Gender Identity Disorder," is a mental condition. That's right, it's a disorder, Bruce. What your book won't tell us is the metric ton of counseling, hormone concoctions, plastic surgery and anti-depressants that you will now have to endure for the rest of your life to keep your body from doing what it naturally wants to do, and of course, ensuring you are the way you were "supposed to be." I mean no disrespect to trans people -- hell, I've even got one in my own family whom I love very dearly, but that doesn't change my thoughts on this topic -- and I don't want to hear "you don't understand" because, you're right, I don't, and you don't either, which is why the first thing you want to do is change yourself to the polar opposite of who and what you are in order to find contentment within yourself.
But hey, news flash: You can play make believe and dress up all you want, but no matter what you do to change yourself, it won't ever stop you from being who and what you are. No matter what you call yourself, when you look in the mirror, the same "Juicy Brucey" will always be staring back at you. Maybe before going and chopping off your penis to sell some books, you should've made peace with the inner Bruce, rather than the outer Caitlyn.
Good luck with your book, Mr. Olympian, and God bless the U.S.A.!
PS: Since I know you live and think like a Kardashian, next time you want to sell some books, please don't write about who you're sleeping with. I'm begging you, please don't! One weird breakfast having to read about penis-chopping was bad enough, I really don't need a second one reading about who'll be draining your swamp!
PPS: Can you and the entire Kardashian clan just get out of the news already? Really, the world needs a break from you all!
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