There Will Be No Halloween This Year

That is not a typo. There will, in fact, be NO Halloween this year!

(As in Michael Myers' Halloween movies, not Oct. 31st's Halloween holiday.)

Apparently, Dimension has let the rights to their franchise expire, so Marcus Dunstan and Patrick Melton's botched execution idea for Halloween Returns will never come to fruition. Well, not unless another studio reels in the free agent serial killer and decides to bring those two moviemakers back into the fold, anyway.

All's I can say about this is that after Halloween: Resurrection, a.k.a. the Michael Myers reality show gone wrong, and those two porn-gore fests that Rob Zombie tried to pass off as legitimate Halloween reboots, I'm actually kind of glad that Dimension no longer has Mike's rights because I highly doubt that they had his best interest at heart.

Michael is an elusive, tight-lipped, stalking, affluent boogeyman anomaly with zero attachments, not some oversized superhuman mama's boy redneck with the typical serial killer backstory, and it's about dang time that some studio decided to take him back to what he was in '78 before he ever even had a younger sister, back when he was just some random detached whackjob killing babysitters on Halloween night. It wasn't until the pressure of the sequels gave him a real backstory, and frankly, set the franchise on a downward spiral.

I don't mind that he had that backstory, but when you're forcibly trying to tie in family to this guy, as was the case from parts four through six (a long-lost niece, really?), it becomes a hindrance rather than just a sidenote. And frankly, I preferred not knowing so much about his lineage. He was creepier back when that was the case!

Anyhow, I, for one, am on the side of whoever wants to start from zero with this masked madman. Here's hoping that whoever takes on his rights from here on has an actual gameplan for the lunatic, and doesn't try to force him back into another ridiculous familial backstory. And please, definitely no more cults, Busta Rhymes or Rob Zombie's!

'Nuff said.

5 Star Wars Questions

Like seemingly everybody else in the world, I recently went to go watch Star Wars: The Force Awakens. In 3-D, no less. AND... in a theater with recliner seating. If you're going to geek up, at least do so correctly, am I right?

Anyway, it was awesome!

*Spoiler alert from here on down.*

But, five things about the movie kind of stayed with me, as they were never really answered...

1) They didn't reveal Rey's parentage. I get that we're supposed to think that she's Luke's daughter (and that's how they're reeling us back for the sequel), but it's never explicity stated, so she could just as easily be a Kenobi descendant or Han Solo and Leia Organa's second child/only daughter.

2) Who left her at Jakku and why? Did it have to do with a certain Jedi massacre?

3) Why did R2-D2 wake up when he did? I guess Luke programmed him to do so, but what was the trigger for it?

4) How the heck did Poe not die when he and Finn crashed, their ship sunk into the sand and then the whole darn thing exploded? He clearly wasn't anywhere else on that dessert landscape! (They never really explained that part and it drove my O.C.D. self crazy throughout the rest of the film.)

5) Is Kylo Ren (a.k.a. Ben Solo) even still alive? I'm assuming he is, but who knows because Starkiller Base exploded and he seemed to be on it at the time.

By the way, and it's neither here nor there, but I thought BB-8 was a nice droid addition to R2-D2 and C-3PO. I think J.J. Abrams did a superb job with this first film, and I really hope he can keep it up for the sequels. I can't wait to have all these questions -- maybe even the Poe one? -- answered two years from now. However, if Abrams does me like he used to week in and week out during his LOST days, then I'm expecting to get them answered never... and that would SUCK.

PS: Whether it's the Siths, the Galactic Empire or the First Order, these space folks can't get any peace of mind, huh? May the re-awoken force be with them all!

Ain't That The Truth, Sly?!

 

Four Interesting Old Photographs

First Mirror Selfie (1900)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

First Women To Wear Shorts In Public Caused A Car Crash (1937)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bill Clinton Meets John F. Kennedy (1962)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Clint Eastwood Skateboarding In Rome (1964) 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bet That Footlong Doesn't Sound So Appealing Now!

I work for the justice system. Unfortunately, although they give me the willies, I see a lot of pedophiles daily. My mind's been trained to spot one from a mile away, as they all pretty much have the same suspicious demeanor, which includes -- but is not limited to -- a really creepy smile.

In case you're wondering, that smile looks a little something like this...

So yeah, consider this my PSA for the day: if you see that smile on someone, keep your kids safely away from them.

It sucks that we live in a society full of priest child molesters, pitchman pedophiles, guy-next-door serial killers, student terrorists, etc. But alas, that's the world that we live in these days. As William Shakespeare once wrote, "all the world's a stage," and you never know what monsters lie behind the masks you see folks wearing everyday. So please, everybody, let Jared and the others be a reminder that you mustn't ever let your guard down.

The world's a crazy place. Always try to stay as safe as possible out there.

PS: In case you didn't see the news today, Jared got sentenced to 15 years 8 months in a federal prison with lifetime supervision to follow.

An Open Letter to Charlie Sheen

So on the Today Show this morning, Charlie Sheen apparently admitted that he's HIV positive. People are now shocked. SHOCKED, I tell you! I mean, really, "how could that be?!" Oh, please -- dude shares needles at Hollywood drug parties, screws porn stars and hookers daily, and has admittedly been having sex since he was a little kid due to his father's infamous house parties. Sharing needles + unprotected sex + promiscuity x infinity is the PERFECT RECIPE for an HIV+ diagnosis!!!

Do I feel bad he has HIV? Yes, of course, I would never wish that on anyone. But am I going to be wasting my tears on Charlie's spoiled self? No way in Hell!

First off, I don't believe for a second that he wore condoms or told any of his "conquests" -- because that's all they are to him, let's be honest -- that he was HIV+ before doing the deed. He is surrounded by whores, porn stars and drug dealers, so I'm also not the least bit surprised to learn that the people in his inner circle were blackmailing him, and I sure as heck am not buying into it that those people are taking money from his children or grandchild.

Take responsibility for your own actions, Charlie! You're the one who took money from your kids and grandchild, as YOU were the one who decided to live your HIV-welcoming lifestyle. And later, after learning that it had finally caught up with you, YOU were the one who decided to bury that diagnosis, instead of just coming clean with it and saving those "millions" you paid out in unnecessary hush money. No one else made those bad choices but you. Be a man, own up to it and stop blaming others for your idiocy!

Plus, he's never seemed too concerned about his children before when he was trashing hotel rooms, doing mounds and mounds of cocaine, ripping into a trannie, "accidentally" shooting his ex-fiancée in the arm, trying to stab his ex-wife to death or when he went on multiple rants where he insisted that his life was soooo much better than everyone else's because he had "tigers blood" (read: a triple-cocktail of anti-HIV meds) and "goddesses" (read: paid whores). He should just count his blessings that he has tons of money and can afford all the meds available to keep him healthy (because a lot of other HIV+ people cannot), rather than go on national television and give us his typical woe-is-me nonsense.

Yes, it sucks that you got this, but I'm not losing ANY sleep over you because you WELCOMED this lifestyle, Charlie! I hope you've at least learned a valuable lesson from the mistakes you've made this time around, although I highly doubt you will given your selfish track record of the past. Like the old saying says: "If you sleep with dogs, you'll wake up with fleas." Please let this all be a learning experience, rather than a death sentence.

I really do wish you the best in fighting your disease. I just also really wish you'd stop pointing the finger everywhere but where it needs to be pointing, which is at yourself. You've only got yourself to blame for this. No one else. And sure, right now you're "LOSING," but considering how funny and talented you are, I'm sure you'll be "WINNING" again in no time. Keep your head up and continue handling your business, but stop with all the extracurriculars because your body's clearly had enough already.

Good luck getting all your $#!+ sorted out!

"Do It Anyway" by Mother Teresa

New day. New month. New beginning.

 Here are a couple of words to get it started right...