Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Mamma Mia! (Poppa Peed... What?!)

Today, I found out something interesting: a man can test positive on a pregnancy test.

"But, Al, doesn't that news brief defy all sense of logic? How can a dude get pregnant? He absolutely cannot unless 'he' used to be a 'she' or something."

I didn't say a dude could get pregnant, I simply said he could pass a pregnancy test. However, if he does pass one, that ain't a good thing!

In the spirit of opening your minds, I come bearing the really interesting discovery that what the "pee strips" test for is actually the presence of elevated levels of the hormone beta human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG), they don't just work off the premonition of a fetus someday inhabiting that spot. That'd just be plain weird, and probably also lead to a lot of false positives. Furthermore, the hCG hormone that they test for is also released in certain types of testicular cancers, which is where men testing positive come in.

So yeah, you were going to take that ovulation test and laugh off the negative result, but it came out positive... and now you're left wondering, "WTF?!" Sorry to say, man, but the joke's not so funny anymore -- as you've more than likely got testicular cancer! (Get to a doctor ASAP.)

However, before others go about using this newfound information to test themselves for cancer, let me just state that the opposite ain't true. Just because you're a guy and you test negative on a pregnancy test, that doesn't mean you're cancer free as not all testicular tumors secrete this hormone.

Just some news for thought.

Happy Hump Day, everybody!

Tuesday, September 13, 2016

Chocolate Was Born On 9/13... Sorta.

Happy Birthday, Milton Hershey!!

In your honor, I will now gain 220 calories. Gladly.